I’ve been meaning to write something about this "Insta-Family" article in New York Mag all week, but have just now managed to find the time. The article profiles people who, like me, were single and in their mid to late thirties (I’m still mid until at least December, I reckon), but then found themselves married, with a baby, and often owning an apartment or house, all in the space of about two years.
My first thought upon reading the article was something along the lines of, "Ha! I’ll probably get struck by lightning before ending up married with a kid within two years!" But as the week continued on, I pondered it more and more. I’m starting to think that a lot of my first reaction was due to my own fear. As much as I want to get married and have kids, it still feels like such a far-off thing in my head that the notion of it really happening, particularly that quickly, is quite scary to me, to be honest. The fact that it seems so far-fetched gives me a bit of protection. But what if it really did happen? So I chewed on that for a while.
As I thought about it, I realized, much to my surprise, that it really wasn’t as far-fetched as I had originally thought. The older I get, the more I know what I’m looking for in a relationship. As a result, I don’t tend to linger on in things that really aren’t working for some way or other the way I might have in my twenties. In talking to my peers, I think that’s pretty common. That said, I’d imagine that once I knew I was in a solid, healthy and fulfilling relationship, I probably wouldn’t want to dick around with a long engagement, etc. If you know, you know — at least that’s what all my married friends tell me. And, as they say, I’m not getting any younger. Once I’m married, I would like to give me and my husband some time to just hang out and be married, just the two of us, but there is that pesky biology thing lurking in the background. So maybe that couple-time gets trimmed down from a cushy three to five years to a less indulgent year or two.
Who knows, really, how this will all play out in my life, but after a week of thinking about it, the "insta-family" doesn’t scare me quite as much, and I wouldn’t be all too surprised if that’s what happened to me. But in the meantime, back to singledom — got the ladies from the beach house coming over for brunch (heavy on the bloody marys and mimosas) in a few hours!
Comments
4 responses
A friend of mine from N.H. did that, got married in his late 30s to a woman his age and had two kids in quick succession. I get Christmas cards with his adorable son and daughter on them … they seem very happy.
A friend of mine from N.H. did that, got married in his late 30s to a woman his age and had two kids in quick succession. I get Christmas cards with his adorable son and daughter on them … they seem very happy.
Aww. Good to hear!
Aww. Good to hear!