After reading two of Bridget Harrison’s articles about men in New York — one on the epidemic of casual-ness in NYC relationships; the other on NYC men being extraordinarily committment-phobic — I am even more convinced that New York City breeds an unhealthy dating environment. This realization, coupled with my jealousy of friends moving away to start new jobs or graduate school, has led me to do some serious pondering about moving to another city.
Really.
Yes, I know, I have toyed with the notion of moving to Brooklyn to change my love life, but I’m also realizing that NYC as a whole is a tough place to live. The pace is fast and furious, and sometimes it’s hard to keep up. I love it tremendously, and it’s extremely hard for me to imagine living anywhere else, but perhaps that is enough reason for me to move away, at least temporarily. If I am incredibly homesick, and miss it dearly, then I can always move back. Maybe I should move somewhere else to prove to myself that I can, in fact, live outside of NYC. Having gotten to know myself pretty well in the past five years or so, I am pretty confident that I could move to a new city where I only know a few people and put the pieces together that I need/want/like to have to form a well-rounded life and a solid social network.
So where should I go? You’ve all gotten to know me a bit over the past nine months or so — I’m extremely curious to get your opinons. I have my own, which I will share with you next week, but for now, remember that I’m looking for a well-educated, somewhat liberal population, where I don’t need a car, with good food, opportunities for cycling, and a thriving music, arts, and culture scene. Remember, I need other fun, interesting, smart, youngish folks to hang out with, and enough space to have a dinner party for them. And a Chinatown is a plus. Let me know what you think!
* [A tribute to the Clash song of the same name. And by the way, if you do not own this album, buy it immediately.]
Comments
42 responses
You’re describing San Francisco. Not exclusively, mind you – but it does fit.
As an aside, isn’t that track on Combat Rock?
You’re describing San Francisco. Not exclusively, mind you – but it does fit.
As an aside, isn’t that track on Combat Rock?
Other than the fact that you would need a car, Seattle fits the bill!
Other than the fact that you would need a car, Seattle fits the bill!
San Francisco or London
San Francisco or London
Yes, I know that song isn’t on London Calling. But you should really buy London Calling if you don’t have it.
Yes, I know that song isn’t on London Calling. But you should really buy London Calling if you don’t have it.
And what prompted this yen to move to a yet undisclosed city – which sounds suspiciously like San Francisco??? Your fans might like to know! And no one suggested Chicago, which I enjoyed almost as much as NY.
And what prompted this yen to move to a yet undisclosed city – which sounds suspiciously like San Francisco??? Your fans might like to know! And no one suggested Chicago, which I enjoyed almost as much as NY.
Um, gee, Mom, I thought I was pretty clear: “After reading two of Bridget Harrison’s articles about men in New York — one on the epidemic of casual-ness in NYC relationships; the other on NYC men being extraordinarily committment-phobic — I am even more convinced that New York City breeds an unhealthy dating environment. This realization, coupled with my jealousy of friends moving away to start new jobs or graduate school, has led me to do some serious pondering about moving to another city.”
Um, gee, Mom, I thought I was pretty clear: “After reading two of Bridget Harrison’s articles about men in New York — one on the epidemic of casual-ness in NYC relationships; the other on NYC men being extraordinarily committment-phobic — I am even more convinced that New York City breeds an unhealthy dating environment. This realization, coupled with my jealousy of friends moving away to start new jobs or graduate school, has led me to do some serious pondering about moving to another city.”
I immediately thought of San Francisco, too. Wow, Laren, how exciting and adventurous of you to even CONSIDER moving away!
I immediately thought of San Francisco, too. Wow, Laren, how exciting and adventurous of you to even CONSIDER moving away!
I never thought it would come to this… lol… even after reading that Voice article back in March(http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0409/essay.php)shortly after I had just started my own “blog.” Admittedly, I am in a different category than the people that Whitney Pastorek says have, like her, been abandoned by their blogging friends. We don’t see eachother regularly anyway! Nevertheless, I have decided that truly the only way to find out what’s going on in your life is to visit your blog more often. So, here I am! That said, please don’t leave New York because if you do, I will never see you. Then again… if I start thinking of you only in the cyber sense (no, not THAT cyber sense.), it won’t matter where you live. Hm. Anyway… I ejoyed reading your blog and will return on a more regular basis. 🙂
I never thought it would come to this… lol… even after reading that Voice article back in March(http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0409/essay.php)shortly after I had just started my own “blog.” Admittedly, I am in a different category than the people that Whitney Pastorek says have, like her, been abandoned by their blogging friends. We don’t see eachother regularly anyway! Nevertheless, I have decided that truly the only way to find out what’s going on in your life is to visit your blog more often. So, here I am! That said, please don’t leave New York because if you do, I will never see you. Then again… if I start thinking of you only in the cyber sense (no, not THAT cyber sense.), it won’t matter where you live. Hm. Anyway… I ejoyed reading your blog and will return on a more regular basis. 🙂
WELL EXCUSE ME. I CAN and DO read…but it’s what’s between the lines that I’m interested in. Anyway, don’t move…I will miss you (even though you are frequently very snippy to me on your blog).
WELL EXCUSE ME. I CAN and DO read…but it’s what’s between the lines that I’m interested in. Anyway, don’t move…I will miss you (even though you are frequently very snippy to me on your blog).
Three things:
1. Your mother raises an interesting point about the lines!
2. What about Madison, Wisconsin? No Chinatown (as far as I know), but lots of space and liberal grad students. Portland, Oregon is another hip city worth considering for young, environmentally-conscious foodies.
3, and most importantly: Don’t pin your hopes on a place. I have too many friends who have moved to a new city only to find themselves in the same boat as they were in the old city. You’ve worked to make an excellent life for yourself in NYC, and I think you should keep building on that foundation rather than changing your scenery.(…but of course I will be totally supportive if you choose to move!)
Three things:
1. Your mother raises an interesting point about the lines!
2. What about Madison, Wisconsin? No Chinatown (as far as I know), but lots of space and liberal grad students. Portland, Oregon is another hip city worth considering for young, environmentally-conscious foodies.
3, and most importantly: Don’t pin your hopes on a place. I have too many friends who have moved to a new city only to find themselves in the same boat as they were in the old city. You’ve worked to make an excellent life for yourself in NYC, and I think you should keep building on that foundation rather than changing your scenery.(…but of course I will be totally supportive if you choose to move!)
oy. nothing like having a fight with your mom via blog comments. Sorry I was snippy — didn’t mean it. Right now, there’s nothing between the lines, I promise.
Adrianna — thanks for visiting, and I know I’ve been awful about keeping in touch. At least we have cyberland, no matter what!
Hilary — you make an excellent point. I spoke for a while with my ex last night, who left NYC a few months ago. He vascillates wildly between wanting to stay where he is now and wanting to return. I shouldn’t pin my hopes on a new place, but I could use a change, at least temporarily.
oy. nothing like having a fight with your mom via blog comments. Sorry I was snippy — didn’t mean it. Right now, there’s nothing between the lines, I promise.
Adrianna — thanks for visiting, and I know I’ve been awful about keeping in touch. At least we have cyberland, no matter what!
Hilary — you make an excellent point. I spoke for a while with my ex last night, who left NYC a few months ago. He vascillates wildly between wanting to stay where he is now and wanting to return. I shouldn’t pin my hopes on a new place, but I could use a change, at least temporarily.
LONDON CALLING* – Move to London dude.
*Another kick ass Clash album one should get if they don’t have it in their collection.
LONDON CALLING* – Move to London dude.
*Another kick ass Clash album one should get if they don’t have it in their collection.
I disagree with the “you can always go back” schpiel. life never happens that way.
but i agree. if i were a young, attractive woman looking ot get hitched, i’d pick an easier venue than NYNY.
i don;lt think NYNY makes people commitment-phobic. I think its environment attracts commitment-phobic people, who tend you flock here in great, rootless swarms.
I disagree with the “you can always go back” schpiel. life never happens that way.
but i agree. if i were a young, attractive woman looking ot get hitched, i’d pick an easier venue than NYNY.
i don;lt think NYNY makes people commitment-phobic. I think its environment attracts commitment-phobic people, who tend you flock here in great, rootless swarms.
Any suggestions for where, Hugh?
Any suggestions for where, Hugh?
Dunno. I like Chicago, but the climate is appalling. SF would be good if it was cheaper.
I’d go where you can get the most interesting, well-paid job.
Dunno. I like Chicago, but the climate is appalling. SF would be good if it was cheaper.
I’d go where you can get the most interesting, well-paid job.
Well-paid? I’d probably have to change careers for that, unfortunately . . .
Well-paid? I’d probably have to change careers for that, unfortunately . . .
Well, I don’t really want to see you leave at all, but here’s a few cents – I’m from Chicago – great city – very cold and unfortunatly, my single friends there find it to be similar to NYC, so if you’re going to go for a change, go for a bigger change – how about Austin? People love it there – otherwise, Seattle – I think you would like it and I can hook you up with some nice rabbis who have never-ending contact with the single crowd!
Well, I don’t really want to see you leave at all, but here’s a few cents – I’m from Chicago – great city – very cold and unfortunatly, my single friends there find it to be similar to NYC, so if you’re going to go for a change, go for a bigger change – how about Austin? People love it there – otherwise, Seattle – I think you would like it and I can hook you up with some nice rabbis who have never-ending contact with the single crowd!
i’ll chime in with Austin, TX. i don’t think SF or Chicago or any other typical big city will be much better than NYC in terms of relationships, because it’s really the nature of any city. but Austin has all of the cultural things you’re looking for (especially music of course) and is quite liberal and laid back and fun and definitely NOT high-pressure like most big cities.
i’ll chime in with Austin, TX. i don’t think SF or Chicago or any other typical big city will be much better than NYC in terms of relationships, because it’s really the nature of any city. but Austin has all of the cultural things you’re looking for (especially music of course) and is quite liberal and laid back and fun and definitely NOT high-pressure like most big cities.
I noticed that you aren’t pushing for Beantown . . .
I noticed that you aren’t pushing for Beantown . . .
Austin’s nice. Where “cool” is a euphemism for “laid back” or more accurately, “mediocrity.
Austin is great, but it’s already been done. And the housing prices know this all too well.
Austin’s nice. Where “cool” is a euphemism for “laid back” or more accurately, “mediocrity.
Austin is great, but it’s already been done. And the housing prices know this all too well.
have you considered Vancouver in British Columbia, definatly seems to fit the bill. a nice chinatown to boot.
have you considered Vancouver in British Columbia, definatly seems to fit the bill. a nice chinatown to boot.