New York is one of those places where many people seem to define themselves by their occupations. So often when you meet someone new, the first thing they ask you is what you do for a living. Although I consciously try not to do this, inevitably it happens. For the past five years, when people have asked me what I do, I have said "I work at a nonprofit," or "I’m a lawyer." Why do I feel the need to say that I’m a lawyer? I haven’t practiced law for over five years!
I had a conversation recently with a woman who is the executive director of a very prominent organization. She said she sometimes fantasized about getting a job as a receptionist. She noted that her responsibilities would be crystal-clear, her hours would be limited, it would require less thought than her current job, and would leave her with enough time to spend with her family and do all the other things she wants to do outside of work. But there’s a stigma out there — it sounds much better to the outside world to be an executive director than to be a receptionist, although the same individual might be much happier at the more straightforward and well-defined receptionist job.
Sometimes, what you are depends on the context in which you are asked. I had the interesting experience recently of attending a freelancers’ party sponsored by Mediabistro. A woman was snapping photos for their website, and when she asked what
I do, I knew that "lawyer" was not the right answer. I turned to my friend Doug, who had brought me, for guidance. He
prompted me: "You’re a food writer." Ah, yes. "I’m a food writer."
As the hunt continues, I consider all the things I can cobble together to make money, some of which might allow me to have time to do things on the side, some of which won’t, and some of which are things I do on the side that could turn into ways to make money, like the food writing. So what am I? When you look at the things I do or have done to make money, I’m a lawyer, a food writer, a self-defense instructor, a crepe-maker, an administrator, a secretary. But more importantly, I’m a woman, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a karaoke diva, a bit of a geek, a creative soul, and a hopeless romantic. What you do for a living is not necessarily who you are — don’t ever forget that, even in New York.
Comments
8 responses
The next time someone asks me that, I’m going to be a Truck Driver.. The 18 wheel kind. I’ve always wondered what driving one would be like. And I’ve heard there is a 6 week course to get the license. That certainly beats med school. Responsibilities are fixed (don’t crash or run out of gas). Travel is included. I’m not there yet, but maybe saying I’m one will get me started along the way.
The next time someone asks me that, I’m going to be a Truck Driver.. The 18 wheel kind. I’ve always wondered what driving one would be like. And I’ve heard there is a 6 week course to get the license. That certainly beats med school. Responsibilities are fixed (don’t crash or run out of gas). Travel is included. I’m not there yet, but maybe saying I’m one will get me started along the way.
ALL of my closest girlfriends from Harvard Law School have fantasized about being secretaries or receptionists. My dream job? Temp secretary.
It doesn’t take long to realize that to those to whom much is given, much is asked. I never really felt like “giving” so much. When people ask me why I gave up the corporate law life I say: I know I have a price; EVERYONE has a price; but mine just isn’t in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Even a million these days sounds low ball. It’s my LIFE after all.
It’s true that in NY people are defined by their, often corporate, careers; but, I have found the sexiest thing a person can say is: I really could give a shit about having a career. It gives one a whiff of madcap heiress. That is not to say, one ought not be serious about one’s work, but personally, I look in askance at someone whose life calling is investment banking. I mean really.
ALL of my closest girlfriends from Harvard Law School have fantasized about being secretaries or receptionists. My dream job? Temp secretary.
It doesn’t take long to realize that to those to whom much is given, much is asked. I never really felt like “giving” so much. When people ask me why I gave up the corporate law life I say: I know I have a price; EVERYONE has a price; but mine just isn’t in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Even a million these days sounds low ball. It’s my LIFE after all.
It’s true that in NY people are defined by their, often corporate, careers; but, I have found the sexiest thing a person can say is: I really could give a shit about having a career. It gives one a whiff of madcap heiress. That is not to say, one ought not be serious about one’s work, but personally, I look in askance at someone whose life calling is investment banking. I mean really.
well i have their dream job–secretary AT harvard! i have about 13 jobs involving writing, teaching, editing, and, yes, a part-time secretarial job at harvard that gives me benefits so that i can do all these other wack jobs. and when anyone asks me what i do, i tell them i’m a secretary. it’s easier than listing off all 13 other jobs.
well i have their dream job–secretary AT harvard! i have about 13 jobs involving writing, teaching, editing, and, yes, a part-time secretarial job at harvard that gives me benefits so that i can do all these other wack jobs. and when anyone asks me what i do, i tell them i’m a secretary. it’s easier than listing off all 13 other jobs.
I have to admit, I often dream of not having to work, not because I don’t like to, but the freedom of doing whatever I like when I’d like to is way more interesting to me. Then I was laid off and went 2 months without work and I realized it wasn’t my occupation that I connected with, it was being employed by someone. I had no problem continuing to tell people I was a graphic designer, but it was the ‘where do you work’ that made me uncomfortable. Even in our ‘Free Agent Society’, I realized I still have a need to ‘belong’ with all the benefits, perks and pay that goes along with that. I’m beginning to figure out how to change that… although it’s harder then I thought.
I have to admit, I often dream of not having to work, not because I don’t like to, but the freedom of doing whatever I like when I’d like to is way more interesting to me. Then I was laid off and went 2 months without work and I realized it wasn’t my occupation that I connected with, it was being employed by someone. I had no problem continuing to tell people I was a graphic designer, but it was the ‘where do you work’ that made me uncomfortable. Even in our ‘Free Agent Society’, I realized I still have a need to ‘belong’ with all the benefits, perks and pay that goes along with that. I’m beginning to figure out how to change that… although it’s harder then I thought.