It was suggested to me the other day that one of the reasons I'm currently single is that I'm too financially successful and independent, which is apparently intimidating to men. I wish I had snapped back in the moment with something appropriately witty that reflected how truly idiotic that statement was, but I think I was so shocked and flabbergasted that all I could muster at the time was something like, "really? And what am I supposed to do about that?" He then suggested I should lie about owning my apartment, and say it belongs to my parents.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Someone actually said this to me.
SCREW THAT. I have worked hard to become financially successful and independent and I am DAMN PROUD of what I have accomplished so far. Any man who is that threatened by it and is stuck in his antiquated notion that he must be the provider is not someone I'd want to date anyway, so if that's the reason I'm single, so be it. But I still believe there are great guys out there who don't get hung up on that sort of thing and actually enjoy being taken out to dinner from time to time (not that I plan on being anyone's sugar mama or anything). Ultimately, when I'm dating someone, and especially in a more serious relationship, in my mind, it's a team effort. And when I do end up getting married, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, be it money or debt.
Lie about owning my apartment?!? Seriously?!? It's more appealing to you to date a woman in her 30's who has nothing to show for herself and is being taken care of by her parents than to date someone who can take care of herself thanks to a career she has built over time? Eesh. Good luck with that.
Comments
24 responses to “Your Money or Your Life”
I like to blame singleness on the fact that we live in New York, the-dog-eat-dog capital of America. You move anywhere else and people might call you back after a date…they might even NOT try to sleep with you after a first date…this town is a candy shop and no one commits because frankly, they don’t have to…too much candy in the candy shop. It’s the city not the girl. It’s always greener on the other side too.
Just thank your lucky stars that you’re not stuck with a Dorito eatin’, pot belly, “babe can you grab me a beer I don’t wanna get up” kinda guy.
Light a candle in that apartment you own lady. You’re one hell of a gal. : )
I like to blame singleness on the fact that we live in New York, the-dog-eat-dog capital of America. You move anywhere else and people might call you back after a date…they might even NOT try to sleep with you after a first date…this town is a candy shop and no one commits because frankly, they don’t have to…too much candy in the candy shop. It’s the city not the girl. It’s always greener on the other side too.
Just thank your lucky stars that you’re not stuck with a Dorito eatin’, pot belly, “babe can you grab me a beer I don’t wanna get up” kinda guy.
Light a candle in that apartment you own lady. You’re one hell of a gal. : )
I would say that you should have thrown a drink in his face, but you usually have really nice drinks. Maybe some men find that intimidating as well?
I would say that you should have thrown a drink in his face, but you usually have really nice drinks. Maybe some men find that intimidating as well?
You tell’em! Are there still men out there who feel that way? OMG
You tell’em! Are there still men out there who feel that way? OMG
Yikes. Back to the rock from which he crawled. Euuwww. More power to the independent, successful you!
Yikes. Back to the rock from which he crawled. Euuwww. More power to the independent, successful you!
Sarah — I agree that is a huge part of it. It’s rough here. Beth — this particular guy wouldn’t have found that intimidating, but you make an excellent point. Mom — yes, there absolutely are, apparently.
Sarah — I agree that is a huge part of it. It’s rough here. Beth — this particular guy wouldn’t have found that intimidating, but you make an excellent point. Mom — yes, there absolutely are, apparently.
Laren: You are my hero. That is all.
Love, Lindsey
Laren: You are my hero. That is all.
Love, Lindsey
How did I stumble onto the set of The View?
How did I stumble onto the set of The View?
Oh, Jason . . . I adore you too much to want to rip you to shreds for that comment.
Also, to all, I think the issue is not that I am *too* financially successful (as there are plenty of folks out there who are doing much better than I am), but the key is that I may be *more* financially successful than any particular guy.
Either way, screw that.
Oh, Jason . . . I adore you too much to want to rip you to shreds for that comment.
Also, to all, I think the issue is not that I am *too* financially successful (as there are plenty of folks out there who are doing much better than I am), but the key is that I may be *more* financially successful than any particular guy.
Either way, screw that.
There will never be a shortage of men (or women, for that matter) who will not date people for any number of superficial reasons.
This red herring hardly explains why so many super successful women–women you know and famous women–are in committed relationships. Except for Oprah…
There will never be a shortage of men (or women, for that matter) who will not date people for any number of superficial reasons.
This red herring hardly explains why so many super successful women–women you know and famous women–are in committed relationships. Except for Oprah…
Unbelievable – what a bonehead!!! Men dont apologize for their success – why the hell should we apologize for ours?
Good for you, Laren!
Unbelievable – what a bonehead!!! Men dont apologize for their success – why the hell should we apologize for ours?
Good for you, Laren!
Well I should be good to go since I am unemployed, right?
(what a joke!)
Well I should be good to go since I am unemployed, right?
(what a joke!)
This is an interesting post for me. I can relate-not necessarily to the financial part, but to the independent part. And the DVM from Cornell definitely turns people off. So now, I work with horses. Independent, with 3 cats, and financially stable-a difficult sell. Add in the medical degree-not too many people that want to go there. God forbid you be independent, strong and financially stable. Go figure. Stand on your own two feet. And let the future happen. cheeers ekd
This is an interesting post for me. I can relate-not necessarily to the financial part, but to the independent part. And the DVM from Cornell definitely turns people off. So now, I work with horses. Independent, with 3 cats, and financially stable-a difficult sell. Add in the medical degree-not too many people that want to go there. God forbid you be independent, strong and financially stable. Go figure. Stand on your own two feet. And let the future happen. cheeers ekd